I Shoulda Just
by Star Shadow and Dark Stratos
Summary: Kakashi's not happy with team seven's teamwork issues. Not happy with his decision, they decide to get back at him. Slight shonenai. Kakashi torture! Yay!


Star Shadow: Hi there

Dark Stratos: Yo… This is our first Naruto fanfic. We hope it doesn't suck.

Star Shadow: Or that there's another fic just like this.

Dark Stratos: This fic starts out sounding really stupid. Please forgive us.

Star Shadow: We have no idea how to quote what someone is saying when reading. Just a little FYI…

Dark Stratos: You'll get it when you read the story… and please excuse spelling errors. This was typed early in the morning.

Star Shadow: Also there is some **Shonen-ai** not between the characters, but it's slightly graphic and er… it gets interesting to say the least…

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Disclaimer: If we owned Naruto there would be almost non-stop shonen-ai fluff and yaoi. Do you see that in Naruto minus Sasuke and Naruto's unwanted kiss? We didn't think so…

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I Shoulda Just…

Star Shadow and Dark Stratos

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"Okay," Kakashi said, bored look on his face… or what you could see of it. "Your teamwork sucks."

"It's all that bastards fault!!"

"Well, if someone would just stop getting in Sasuke-kun's way… And he is _not_ a bastard!"

"So?"

"Oh boy… This is gonna be harder than I thought. Maybe I should just handcuff them to the pole…" Kakashi mumbled to himself before turning back to his students. In the short amount of time that he his back was turned the three, or rather Naruto and Sasuke, had somehow gotten into another argument. Kakashi sweat dropped.

"What did you just say!?"

"Heh! I could beat your sorry ass any day of the week."

"So," Kakashi continued, interrupting the group with a smile… er… loop eyes… uh… loop _eye_. Yeah! That's the one! "We're going to start up the food exercise again and we're going to use it for every meal until I see some improvement!"

Silence… That was all that he got in response from his three students. Their faces, all three, were priceless. He wanted to laugh, but he held it back, shoulders shaking with effort and one hand covering his mouth… er… mask. They just looked so funny!

Sakura was the first to regain her senses. "Every meal?"

Kakashi nodded, finished with his fit of momentary laughter.

"You can't be serious!" she yelled, a few birds fluttering away from nearby trees at the loud noise.

"I am," he smiled… er… loop eyed… hm… that doesn't sound quite right… oh well… as he pulled out the latest issue of Come Come Paradise. "You guys know the drill. Get the bells before lunch."

And with that, he disappeared.

Two ours had passed and none of the bells had been touched. Kakashi was getting bored. He knew that team seven's teamwork was bad, but this was just pathetic. For the past fifteen minutes he hadn't seen hide nor hair of his students. They were probably beating each other up somewhere.

He yawned and stretched before pulling out Come Come Paradise. He'd had to put it away earlier, but now he was really bored, and he absolutely despised the idea of being bored because when he was bored he started to think, and when he started to think he thought about the past, and when he thought about the past he got depressed and he really didn't like being depressed all that much.

Kakashi giggled, yes giggled, at the page he was reading, imagining himself and another familiar face performing the events in his book, a blush covering the visible part if his right cheek. Iruka would be out for blood if he ever found out about his daydreams and crush he'd developed on him.

He was distracted, even though it was only for a split second and that was all they needed. Two blurs, blue and orange, ran at him. Startled, he raised the hand holding his book above his head to protect it not noticing the blur above him. He covered the bells at his side surprised when he was only lightly attacked. They were gone. Kakashi raised an eyebrow, his visible one, at their antics when he realized what they'd come after. It wasn't the bells.

He near panicked. His book! They took his book! They took his delightfully dirty yet satisfyingly good book! Oh Hokage-sama! What if they _read_ it!?

" "A-Aruna-san!!" Higichi whispered in shock, blushing at the lips trailing down his neck. "Y-you can't be serious!" " Naruto read aloud, using a breathy tone when Higichi was supposedly talking.

Kakashi was shocked. Oh Kami-sama no! Not Naruto! Did the boy even know what he was reading!? A better question came to mind. Why the hell did he feel the need to read it aloud!?

" "Shh…" Aruna breathed against the now slightly damp skin of the flushed man pressed up against the wall as he continued licking a trail down Higichi's collar bone with one long stroke of his tongue, reveling in the feeling of Higichi's shudder,' " another voice read. " "I'll stop of you want me to Higichi-kun…" "

Kakashi blanched, looking horrified under his mask. That was Sasuke. That was Uchiha Sasuke reading in a sultry voice. Oh crap! That boy _knew_ what he was reading. He wasn't naïve like Naruto. Kakashi was almost relieved it was just the two of the.

" "Aruna-san…" Higichi moaned, throwing his head back slightly against the wall as one of Aruna's cool hands found it's way under his shirt. He gripped the wall harder when the hand worked it's way slowly upward, caressing all that lay in it's path,' " she said with a slight giggle.

No no NO! That was not-- That could not have been--! NO! NO WAY! Sakura was _NOT_ reading his dirty little pink book to the boys! She was NOT! He couldn't take it anymore. He jumped down from he perch and made a mad dash towards his students, startling the trio. They scattered, each going a different direction. Naruto continued.

" 'Higichi gasped, moaning as cold fingers caressed his nipples, arching into Aruna's hands. His moans increased slightly as Aruna rolled the nub around almost lazily, making it harden quickly under his talented hand, knowing that it was making him hard elsewhere as well,' " Naruto yelled loud enough for his teammates to hear. Sakura giggled again somewhere in the background as the boy ran.

Kakashi almost grabbed him and his book when it happened. He watched in Slow motion as Naruto launched his book over his head. The book flew, the page that was being read mark with a piece of cloth he had not idea they had. Sasuke caught it and reopened it, speed returning to normal and bolted.

" "Now what could this possibly be?" Aruna asked, a lazy smile crossing his face as he grabbed at Higichi's hardening erection though his pants, causing the younger man to cry out,' " Sasuke yelled, his voice louder than Kakashi ever remembered it ever being other than when he got into verbal and non-verbal fights with Naruto. Kakashi turned on his heel, making a beeline to the Uchiha who was slightly flushed from reading ahead to the more graphic part. It became worse as he went on.

"You actually _read _this stuff Kakashi-sensei?" the boy asked as he continued running and resumed reading aloud, just out of his teacher's reach. " 'Aruna slid down the gasping man's body, face stopping at the obvious bulge in the other man's pants, vaguely aware of his own need.' "

Sasuke replaced the bookmark and tossed it, and Kakashi watched as it landed in Sakura's more than capable hands. Kakashi growled as she continued reading. He knew what they were doing. They were playing monkey in the middle and he was the monkey. He fumed at their form of 'teamwork' as a past thought came to him.

Kakashi twitched as he tried to catch the girl. "I shoulda just handcuffed them to the pole!"

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Star Shadow: So wha'd ya think?

Dark Stratos: Reviews are loved. Please Read and Review. Constructive criticism please. We need it.

Star Shadow: We were thinking about doing a fic about Kakashi and a Chinese finger trap next. hehe…


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